How Very Subtle Of You, Channing Tatum

February 3, 2015 / Posted by:

This might explain why Channing Tatum was forced to hold Amy Adams like a beach umbrella on that Vanity Fair cover; they needed to give him a task that would require his full concentration so that his eyes wouldn’t get distracted by titties. They (“they” being the professional dog trainer hired to keep Channing focused) really should have used the same tactic on the red carpet for the premiere of Jupiter Ascending last night in Los Angeles. Mila Kunis’ new mommy boobies are almost too much for him. I almost expect his tie to start spinning and steam to come out of his ears, like in an old Tex Avery cartoon.

Mila’s best defense would have been to distract him with her maybe/maybe not husband Ashton Kutcher (or as Channing probably calls him, “that dude who lost his car”), who was there, but didn’t walk the red carpet with her. Good choice! It doesn’t matter what he showed up wearing, he still would have been overshadowed by Mila’s on-point slutty bad girl sister of the bride realness:

Stars arrive at the 'Jupiter Ascending' Los Angeles Premiere **NO DAILY MAIL SALES**

In a perfect world, Mila is two daiquiris away from loudly asking “Yo, who wants to see me balance a piece of wedding cake on my tits???” during the reception. I love it. Here’s more of Mila working some good hair and a pair of formal Thocks at the Jupiter Ascending premiere last night, as well as more Channing, freckled British elf Eddie Redmayne, and the reason Manic Panic will never go out of business, Lana¬†Wachowski:

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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