Because Katy Perry is a 16-year-old wannabe high school parking lot-smoking badass trapped inside the body of a 13-year-old middle school girl trapped inside the body of a 30-year-old woman (who is dressed like Cookie Lyon, for some reason), she decided to commemorate her epic come-to-life sticker book Super Bowl half-time show performance by sneaking a couple of her dad’s beers into her Keroppi mini backpack and bribing her older sister’s art school drop-out friend Kayde to give her a stick-poke tattoo in his mother’s basement. Okay, so technically it was done by professional tattoo artist backstage, but you know she was pretending it was done on a dirty couch using a safety pin and a ballpoint pen.
I assumed Katy would get a portrait of those awesome sharks, but instead she paid tribute to the 49th Super Bowl by getting the Roman numerals XLIX on her ring finger:
Maybe it’s just me, but XLIX looks like the name of a straight edge strip club. It’s just me, I know. But the best part of Katy’s future finger mistake is that eventually her skin will get all saggy and wrinkled and that XLIX tattoo will look like it says CLIT. Hell, it already does if you squint a little. But getting a future clit tattoo wasn’t the only poor decision Katy made last night; look who joined her after the Super Bowl:
Surprise! It’s the Ghost of Gonorrhea Past, John Mayer! Katy’s half-time show co-star Missy Elliott snitched on Katy’s poor life choices by tweeting this picture of the three of them at a Super Bowl afterparty last night. Katy’s kootch has been humping on Penicillin’s worst foe since New Years, and it looks like it hasn’t quit yet. That The More You Know star should really sit her down with the sharks and have a talk. “Katy girl, look at your finger; 49 is the number of UTIs you’re about to get if you keep this shit up. The More You Know.”
Pics: Katy Perry