My favorite part of the Puppy Bowl has always been the all-pussy half-time show, because I truly love animals that don’t give a fuck not giving a single fuck. Case in point, the star of this year’s half-time show, Katty Furry. Katty Furry is supposed to be the cat version of Super Bowl half-time show headliner Katy Perry, but she looks more like a down-on-her-luck Adore Delano impersonator named Clawdore Meowlano getting her mugshot taken after she was busted by CVS security for stuffing bags of tuna-flavored Whiskas Temptations into her panties at 2am. Which is to say, she looks perfect and I want to be her when I grow up.
And that picture of Katty Furry could also double as video of her half-time show, because as you’ll see below, that bitch did NOT move. She literally stood there mentally counting down the seconds till the humiliation was over and she could go back to licking her butt and swiping salmon rolls from the craft services table. That, or she was plotting how to get revenge on her owner for letting Animal Planet put her in such a janky wig.
Pic: Animal Planet