Archives: February 2015

Only Kanye West Could Be Grumpy About Going To The Waffle House

February 1, 2015 / Posted by:

As a Canadian person, I never knew the greasy joy that is going to the Waffle House half-drunk on a Saturday night. We don’t have Waffle Houses up here (and please don’t ask if we have Waffle Igloos, because I really wish we did), so when I finally did get a chance to go to one, it was one of the best moments of my life. Yes, I cried. I cried sweet syrupy tears of happiness. Meanwhile, Eeyore’s cousin Kanye West goes to the Waffle House and sits there like a grumpy toddler who was just told “no more juice”.

Kanye decided to make a surprise appearance at Rihanna’s DirecTV pre-Super Bowl party in Phoenix last night, and of course he brought his life-size Barbie Kim Kardashian with him, because it’s not like one of them needs to stay home and look after the kid or anything. After the show, they decided to go to a Waffle House with John Legend and Chrissy Teigen, who look like they just came from an adult prom, and that’s when Kanye morphed into Grumpy Cat’s asshole.

Kanye is such a difficult bitch. He is totally that friend who gets all mopey in the car because he wanted IHOP and everyone else voted for Waffle House. Then when they get to Waffle House, he throws a mini-tantrum because they don’t have butter pecan syrup and orders “just water, I guess” while everyone else gets ready to mouth-fuck an All-Star Special.

Speaking of ‘the kid’, Kim made sure to remind us/herself that she’s still somebody’s mother by Instagramming a couple pics with North West before she left.


Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 1, 2015 / Posted by:

The master of laziness who is an inspiration to all us lazies and a beautiful symbol of laziness.

Happy Smoke A Bowl (Or Five Or Six) Sunday, everyone! Today is the day when most of us take a plastic kiddie pool and fill it with tortilla chips, dozens of jars of Cheez Whiz and pounds of ground beef before diving into it and eating it all while watching the greatest and most relevant sports event in America: THE PUPPEH BOWL! (Oh yeah, and there’s also that other not-as-popular little event where Katy Perry’s tits are going to shoot out fireworks before flopping out of her top, but who cares about that?)

At the end of the day, when your body is weighed down with deliciousness and you can barely hold a cup up to your drinking hole, take a tip from this sensei of laziness. Just lie next to a bowl full of your sweet nectar of choice and scoop the booze into your mouth with your hand. This is how it’s done:

Now that is a genius and a hero to us all!

via Tastefully Offensive


Birthday Sluts

February 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Sherilyn Fenn (50)
Harry Styles (21)
Heather Morris (28)
Lauren Conrad (29)
Gavin Henson (33)
Rachelle Lefevre (36)
Julie Roberts (36)
Rutina Wesley (36)
Big Boi (40)
Michael C. Hall (44)
Brian Krause (46)
Lisa Marie Presley (47)
Pauly Shore (47)
Meg Cabot (48)
Princess Stephanie of Monaco (50)
Linus Roache (51)
Jackie Shroff (58)
Terry Jones (73)
Joy Philbin (74)
Don Everly (78)


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