Color Me An Apricot Shade Of Shocked: Lindsay Lohan Managed To Complete Her Community Service In Time (UPDATE)

January 28, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, it’s official: time travel has been discovered, and the first person to use it correctly is that sneaky sunset-colored con artist Lindsay Lohan so she could go back in time and complete 15 days worth of community service hours before her court date this morning. I don’t know how she did it, but according to TMZ, she did it. This is surely one of the signs of the end times, and I just got really, really nervous.

TMZ says that Community Serve Volunteers in London will send a letter to Lindsay’s lawyer Shawn Holley confirming that she has completed all 240 hours of her required community service. If you see the person in charge of writing reference letters at Community Service Volunteers wearing a fur coat and carrying a self tanner-stained Birkin bag, you’ll know why. NO! I’m sure the Apricot Ashtray didn’t do anything shady to get that letter. She totally got that letter fair and square by busting her ass and servicing the community.

LiLo’s completion of her delinquent community service hours means that she doesn’t have to worry about going back to jail. Please join me in a round of boisterous laughter, because we all know that would never happen. Besides, jail doesn’t want her – they already have a hard enough time keeping jail clean without having to worry about yanking a 27-inch long clump of busted orange hair extensions from the shower drain every morning.

And now that all this messy community service business is behind her, LiLo can finally get back to her true passion: going on vacation!

UPDATE: Radar says the prosecutor who met with Shawn Holley in court this morning is calling shenanigans on LiLo’s community service hours. Apparently LiLo listed a bunch of dates she was stuck in the hospital dealing with that Chikungunya virus as days she logged community service hours. And TMZ says she apparently tried to pass off greeting fans after a performance of Speed-The-Plow as community service. Oh LiLo, you know you’re next-level lazy when you can’t even be bothered to lie properly.

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