Joanna Krupa, sometimes model and reality trick from the now dead Real Housewives of Miami (Never 4get La Bruja) made good on her threat to sue the hanging tampon string out of full-time attention whore and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ resident drunk shit stirrer Brandi Glanville for constantly bringing up the scent of her pussy. Oh America, the land of the free and the home of the trashy messes who can sue each other for saying that their vagina smells like rotten carp lying on the floor of a subway train in the middle of August.
PussyGate started in November 2013 when Brandi Glanville was on Watch What Happens Live and told that shifty Siamese cat Andy Cohen that Mohamed Hadid boned Joanna Krupa while he was still married to fellow Housewife Yolanda Foster and he said her “pussy smelled.” Mohamed later called Brandi “scum” and claimed that he never talked to her about Joanna and that he would never talk about a woman’s punane like that. Brandi told Andy that Lisa Vanderpump was there when Mohamed said it, but Lisa told UsWeekly that those words never came out of him and that Brandi’s mouth is a backed-up trash toilet that spews out lies. At the time, Joanna Krupa tweeted, “no wonder her husband left her,” about Brandi and declared that her pussy isn’t in talks to star in its own show called The Deadliest Snatch and Sig Hansen would never run away from it screaming.
During the next few months, they went back and forth a little until it finally died down. But last December, Brandi Glanville couldn’t resist opening up her mouth about Joanna’s vagine during another episode of Watch What Happens Live. During a segment where Brandi interviewed Andy, she asked him when was the last time he saw Joanna Krupa. via E!
Moving on, Glanville asked Cohen about the last time he saw Krupa, saying, “Did you get food poisoning? From bad sushi that night?” She added, with a mischievous smirk, “She’s stunning. You can’t help the odor situation.”
Those words led to Joanna’s lawyer sending Brandi a cease and desist letter, warning to sue her if she doesn’t keep Joanna’s snatch out of her mouth. Well, TMZ says that Joanna is done with the warnings and filed a lawsuit against Brandi for defamation. Joanna says in her lawsuit that Brandi’s words about her lady parts caused her severe emotional distress and she wants money.
Oh, what a world, what a world…
If I got a $1 for every time some asshole said that my butt smelled like the sewer under a sperm bank, I’d have enough money to buy an industrial-strength ass douche. But seriously, isn’t a vagina’s scent completely subjective? How are they going to prove that Joanna’s cookie box doesn’t smell the way that Brandi claims it smells? Is Joanna’s lawyer going to bring a dozen cats into the court room and say, “Your honor, may the court note that none of these cats are screaming, crying and trying to get to my client’s crotch area.” If this goes to trial, it better be shown on TV and Judge Judy better oversee it. Television hasn’t reached the pinnacle of greatness until we’ve all seen Judge Judy sniff on a lady’s cooze to see if the pussy does in fact smell.
Here’s Joanna Krupa at an animal rescue event in Miami a few days ago.