File this under: “What could possibly be the easiest roast of all time“, Comedy Central has confirmed that their next roast will be that of petite poo-poo potty stain Justin Bieber. Ryan Seacrest sort of spilled the beans on Twitter last night, but I guess Comedy Central was still waiting to get the ok from a pediatric psychologist before agreeing to make fun of a child. Justin expressed his excitement for his upcoming roast by asking an adult to help him spell some big words on Twitter this morning:
You hear that kids? Act like a good little boy all year, and Santa might bring you a new bike. Act like a spoiled brat all year, and Ryan Seacrest will give you a 1-hour special on Comedy Central. I think we can all agree that Ryan Seacrest should just bite the bullet and change his Twitter bio to “I put assholes on television“. NO! That’s not true; he gave us the top shelf Champale of television, Shahs of Sunset, and for that we should be forever grateful.
But I wonder who they’re going to get to roast Justin? Pretty much everyone on television, the internet, and in real life roasts him on a daily basis, so they’re going to have to dig deep to find people who have some real roast-worthy dirt on the Tiny Terror of Nap Time. I’m guessing the dais will include Justin’s nursery school teachers, the monkey he left in Germany, Lil Za (he needs someone he can pay to say something nice), and Jeff Ross, because Comedy Central can’t legally call it a Comedy Central Roast if Jeff Ross isn’t involved.
And Comedy Central should probably put in a call to Kate McKinnon now to make sure she’s available the night of the roast, just in case taping runs long. You can’t legally keep child on set for too long.