Amber Rose is currently in Miami for…uh…a work thing (???), and yesterday she posted a few totally candid, completely classy pictures of herself in a moment of quiet reflection while hanging out half-naked on her hotel balcony to Instagram. I’m sure you’re like “Excuse you, you prude-ass bitch, but two yards of black string and a body chain is complete outfit“, and you’d be right, if it weren’t for the fact that we can’t see whether or not she’s also wearing a smile. You’re never fully dressed without a smile.
And the subtle elegance and good taste didn’t end at seeing several filtered-to-Hell pictures of Amber’s trussed-up GMO-injected Thanksgiving turkey of an ass. Amber also added a layer of class by captioning her pictures with the words Fleekin’, Milfin’, Slayin’, and Stifler’s Mom. How dare you, Amber Rose! There is one and ONLY one Stifler’s Mom, and it’s squinty-eyed goddess Jennifer Coolidge. You can be Stifler’s Mom’s less hot younger sister or Stifler’s Mom’s decent-looking cousin, but never Stifler’s Mom.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to cut up a pair of black tights and link a bunch of old gold chain necklaces together so I can attempt to recreate this look at home. I have a formal event coming up, and I’d like to serve up some serious sophistication.