That might have been the most Billy Ray sentence I’ve ever written. According to TMZ, horny bag of hillbilly weed Miley Cyrus and her brother Braison (I. CAN. NOT. WITH. THAT. NAME) are keeping it in the family, dating-wise, by hooking up with another set of famous offspring. Billy Ray’s kid has been rubbing her greasy gopher bits on The Terminator’s son Patrick Schwarzenegger for the past couple of months, and I guess Miley told her younger brother Braison about all the good vittles they have at the Schwarzenegger house because he’s gone a-courtin’ Patrick’s older sister Christina.
TMZ says Cinnamon Braison Bread started seeing Christina about a month after Miley started hooking up with Patrick. They also spent New Year’s Eve together, which you know means shit is getting serious, because you always hang out with your bottom bitch on NYE. No word on how they celebrated, but he’s a Cyrus, so let’s just assume it involved a bonfire in a metal trash can and moonshine.
I’m not sure how Maria Shriver feels about two of her children hooking up with two of the Cyrus dirtpile kids, but I’m sure the Cyrus family is ecstatic that Miley and Kellogg’s Braison Bran have weaseled their way into high society. I bet Billy Ray Cyrus has already picked out his best cut-off shorts to wear when he goes swimmin’ in the cee-ment pond at the Kennedy Compound this summer. And back in his stable, Trace Cyrus is asking his sister and brother to put in a good word for him with one of Patrick and Christina’s horse-riding cousins.