Taylor Swift Might Have Had A Cry-Filled Breakdown Over Jake Gyllenhaal At A Golden Globes Afterparty
Which would make Lorde that friend who strokes her hair while saying “No girl, stop your tears – he ain’t worth it!!!“, I guess?
Even though Taylor Swift has been on a bit of a girl power I-ain’t-need-no-man kick recently, it sounds like she’s still a fragile ball of boy-crazy 13-year-old girl emotions. According to UsWeekly (via Lainey Gossip), the real life Stacey McGill found herself at the same Golden Globes afterparty at the Chateau Marmont on Sunday night with Jake Gyllenhaal, and it got all kinds of dramatic.
A source says that sometime around 2am, Tay Tay was seen freaking out on the dance floor and telling a friend “We have to go, we have to go.” Also on the dance floor? Jakey G, who was busting a move with famous dick enthusiast Rita Ora. The source says Tay Tay ran to the bathroom with a bunch of her friends, including Cara Delevingne, to have a meltdown, and emerged a while later with her eye makeup smudged to hell and pacing around the lobby. Eventually she moved it outside, where she was seen sitting on a bench with Cara’s arm around her.
However, Detective La Lainey has noticed that UsWeekly seems to have updated their original story, and it’s now 100% less like a melodramatic middle school semi-formal. UsWeekly is now saying that several sources claim Tay Tay was totally cool running into Jake. In fact, said “sources” say they saw Tay Tay run up to Jake and give him a big hug, adding that they were smiling and chatting and braiding each others hair and shit.
Hmmm…who to believe, who to believe. The first “source” who says Tay Tay was a blubbering butterscotch mess, or the second “source” who says she was totally cool and whatever about the whole situation? I’m going with the first, but only because the microchip in Taylor’s living doll brain is permanently set to 1960s Teenage Girl, so it would make sense that the second her eyes saw
Judy and Johhny Jakey and Rita Ora, she’d get all “It’s My Party” and start crying. She can’t help it, really.
Here’s more of Tay Tay arriving to the InStyle/WB Golden Globes afterparty with her BFF Lorde, the Haim girls, and the 35-year-old woman who hangs out with them, Jaime King: