Kim Kartrashian klone Naya Rivera filled in for Whoopi Goldberg on The View today, and I guess she figured that since Whoopi wasn’t there someone had to dribble out a stream of nonsense.
The pecking hens on The View covered Buzzfeed’s piece about how us Americans bathe our asses too much and showering in hot water daily can dry out your skin and wash away good bacteria. Two dermatologists said that depending on weather and what you do with your body all day, you really just need to shower every two or three days. The dermatologists also said that if some of your parts get moist, juicy and stank, you can wipe them down with a wet towel. Nicolle Wallace said that she takes a shower three times a day. To which Naya Rivera said that she showers three times a week and then she shat up a theory about showering. When Naya Rivera says she has a theory, that’s your eye rolling muscle’s cue to stretch and get ready to roll.
Naya said that she thinks white people shower all the time and shower a lot more than “ethnic” people. I guess Naya’s nose has never been near Brad Pitt, Robert Pattinson and Matthew McConaughey. I’m not white and I shower every day, because the day isn’t truly over until I’m crying at the bottom of a hot shower. After Naya shared her theory, she went on to debunk that shit by saying that her mother, who is half black and half Puerto Rican, takes a shower every day.
“I have a theory about showering, which is I think white people shower a lot more than ethnics. I think that showering more than once a day or every day is such a white people thing. My mom is half, black half Puerto Rican, she showers every day, so I can say that. But I can say, I am now married to a white man and he showers a lot. Like a lot. Like two, three times a day. I’m like, ‘What are you doing?‘ The study says, a dermatologist says that you are only supposed to shower once or twice every three days so I’m right on the mark.”
Um, dude probably showers a lot, because when he hugs her his body gets covered with makeup and lead-based paint. Speaking of, the painters who spray Naya down every morning need to switch to non-lead-based paint, because the lead-based paint fumes are eating her brain cells. Click here if you really want to see the clip of this mess.
After people on Twitter came for Naya, she told everyone to calm down, because it’s not that serious.
When you get out of the shower today, get a sense of humor. Love ya!
— Naya Rivera Dorsey (@NayaRivera) January 13, 2015
Since Naya was just telling jokes, I’m guessing she was also joking about taking a shower three times a week. She doesn’t shower that much. She’s made of 95% plastic. The cleaning instructions etched into the side of her body read: “Wipe down with a damp cloth as needed.”
Here’s Naya leaving The View this morning: