So there goes the rumors that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are over, and that he has run into the newly single arms of his real soulmate Tim Burton while she punches herself in the face for spending the last two years sucking the fromage off of his peen and the only thing she’s got to show for it is a stupid role in Magic Mike XXL!
Last month, People said that Amber Heard and Johnny Depp were having problems, but last night at The Art of Elysium’s 8th Annual Heaven Gala in L.A., they killed all those rumors with a kiss. Nothing will say, “We’re together and in love,” like a kiss that looks like a mama bird passing a sardine to a baby bird. Johnny and Amber looked about as happy as pug puppies in a ball pit, and of course I mean the opposite of that. Johnny Deep is making the same miserable face you make when you’re waiting at the DMV with number 189 in your hand and they just called number 23. While he looks about as happy as John Travolta with a face full of snatch, Amber is face fucking the camera.
They look like the annoyed, pissed-off old millionaire and the gold digging beauty pageant queen he’s been forced to marry because he knocked her ass up. What I’m saying is, this is the look.