Hot Slut Of The Day!

Goldie Gold from the early 80s cartoon Goldie Gold and Action Jack!

Since today is the annual Watch Actors Get Plastered While Getting Plastered Ourselves Gala (aka the Golden Globes), I wanted to do a Golden Globes-themed HSOTD and Goldie Gold has “gold” in her name TWICE, so she’s close enough.

While researching yesterday’s highly important HSOTD, Mayda Munny, I was reminded about the glorious Goldie Gold. Goldie Gold was Richie Rich’s cousin who was a million times richer, a million times more adventurous and had a million times more charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent. Goldie Gold was a teenage millionaireness (I know, she must be a teenager in Lorde years since she doesn’t look a day under 35. I blame that bad Botox and Michael Jackson-like nose job) who owned a newspaper called the Gold Street Journal. Along with her trusty dog friend Nugget and one of her reporters, Action Jack, she traveled the world in search of stories for her newspaper.

Goldie Gold was like Lara Croft, Inspector Gadget, the entire Scooby Doo gang and Loni Anderson rolled into one. The Goldie Gold and Action Jack (which sounds like the name of two semi-popular porn stars from the 70s) Saturday morning cartoon premiered in 1981 and it lasted for only five seconds. It ended after 13 episodes. I didn’t watch Goldie Gold and Action Jack until I was in my 20s. Some dude I was dating at the time bought all 13 episodes on eBay and we watched a few while getting drunk on Bacardi and pineapple Shasta, which is the only way to watch Goldie Gold and Action Jack.

I don’t know why Goldie Gold never became as big as Richie Rich. The world just wasn’t ready for a glamorous, yellow-haired adventurer with a Voldemort nose.