Cue The Sound Of A Million Preteen Girls Weeping: Harry Styles Is Dating Model Nadine Leopold

I see his management team is still working the tall skinny blonde angle. NO! I’m sure this is a totally real and not at all cooked up in a publicist’s office kind of relationship. Then again, does it really matter? All the rabid Directioners need to hear is that their beloved elfin hipster heartthrob Harry Styles is dating someone and it ISN’T them. If you have a young person in your life, I’m sorry – I’m sure there’s a lot of angry screaming happening in your house right now. I’ll pray for your ears.

According to UsWeekly, said person is a 21-year-old Victoria’s Secret panty model who goes by the name of Nadine Leopold (or as I’m sure she’s known on Twitter at the present moment, that slut skank man-stealing bitch pig). A source claims Harry began seeing Nadine back in November after being introduced to her by CAA agent Jeff Azoff, and they have been getting “more serious” ever since. The source says they’re not exclusive, but they have been spending a lot of time together. For example, Harry took Nadine out for two birthday dinners this week. Two birthday dinners? Who does Nadine think she is, a Kardashian?

Even though two birthday dinners is pretty much my definition of a bottom bitch, another source says Harry’s relationship with Nadine is not that serious and Harry is just having fun:

“Harry is having a good time being a young rock star. You will know he has a girlfriend when he steps out on the red carpet with one. Until then, he’s having fun and enjoying life.”

So basically what they’re saying is that they still have a commitment to at least 8 more totally candid pap sessions and 4-to-6 blurry Instagram selfies before management will consider going over the terms of a red carpet appearance.