When Justin Bieber’s Calvin Klein underoos ads hit the internet on Tuesday, I think we can agree that our eyes were assaulted by two things: the face of a bratty toddler trying desperately to look “all growed up”, and Photoshop. So much Photoshop. It was so cartoonish, I was convinced Justin was just standing behind one of those old timey muscleman cut-outs at the beach.
And it looks like everyone’s Photoshop suspicions might have been right, because according to BreatheHeavy.com (which appears to have crashed) this is what Justin looked like before Calvin Klein dry fucked Adobe Jr. to hell and back. They claim (via Page Six) that they received a couple SANS ‘SHOP pics like the one on the right from someone who worked on the CK campaign. Said source also described Bieber as “basically a douche” who kept hitting on model Lara Stone until she made a crack about him being a “child”. The source goes on to say that during the shoot, Canada’s shame kept mentioning that he wanted them to make him look “taller and buff”. Awww that’s cute. I think we can all remember being at that age where you stand on your tippy-toes every time your mom goes to measure your height against the wall because you want to look soooo big.
A larger (HA!) pic of Justin Bieber’s before shot is after the cut, so grab your magnifying glasses and let’s Inspector Clouseau this shit:
Since everything on the internet turns out to be a lie and a half (see: every video I’ve watched of a talking dog), I’m skeptical about this before shot of Justin Bieber. Obviously they had to pad his diaper bulge a bit and add some digital pubes, since he’s still a couple years away from hitting puberty. But the so-called “original” still looks Photoshopped to me. I think the only way I’d believe I was truly looking at an un-retouched shot of Bieber’s CK ads was if I saw this picture:
Yes, that’s a Quints doll. Except I’d still be skeptical, because that Quint is lacking a douchey confused look on its face, and we all know that’s the one part of Justin Bieber you can’t Photoshop away.