Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 9, 2015 / Posted by:

Henry the Hoover, the vacuum cleaner that exposed a cheating a ho.

You can tell by that shifty side-eye and that scheming smile that Henry the Hoover is up to some shit and gets off on exposing tricks. One cheating cheater in England learned that the next time he brings his side piece over when his main piece is out of town, he better clean up all the evidence or Henry the Hoover will reveal his wandering dick ways.

The Daily Mail (the BBC really dropped all the balls by not getting this scoop) brings us this extremely newsworthy story about a woman in North East London who found out that the father of her kid and her fiancé stuck his peen in another while she was at her parents. Nicola Lyon says that she came home to a messy apartment so she pulled out Henry the Hoover. While vacuuming her bedroom, Henry overheated and shut off. Henry’s sly smile became slier, because his ass knew what was about to go down.

Nicola checked Henry out to see what the problem was and discovered that something got jammed in his hose. Yup, something did get jammed in his hose. THE DIRTY TRUTH! Nicola pulled out strands of long red hair, which wouldn’t have been weird if she had long red hair. But Nicola is blonde. DUN DUN DUN! For weeks, Nicola suspected that her man was up to some shit and Henry confirmed it. When she confronted her man with the strands of ginger hair, he burped out a lazy lie about how the hair must have come from his friend’s red furry hat. Eventually, he came clean (punned on purpose) and admitted that he had been boning his ginger side piece for a full year. He also told Nicola that his ginger side piece was knocked up with his kid. Nicola showed his ass the exit door and is thankful to Henry the Hoover for saving her from marrying a cheating asshole.

“He explained he’d been seeing her for a year. I was gobsmacked. It was heartbreaking but I was glad I found out before I married the rat. It was all thanks to Henry the hoover that I discovered his filthy secret.”

Henry the Hoover IS the Joey Greco of vacuums and he should be the new host of Cheaters.

And yes, yes, I would. Don’t judge! I mean, Henry the Hoover is British, a redhead, has a long hose and has a name that is close to “Harry.” Sure, he’s not human, but at this stage of the game, I can’t be too picky.

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