Jerry Springer, please come and get your old bouncer.
Even though San Gabriel Valley’s sweetheart Fergie Ferg shouts out neighborhoods near my hometown in her new single “L.A. Love,” I can’t stand that song, because it sounds like an Iggy Azalea impersonator giving the most annoying geography lesson ever. If I wanted to hear someone shout out the names of a bunch of cities, I’d spend time with a talking globe. But well, there is someone out there who loves that song and that someone is Steve Ballmer, the owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.
When Fergie performed that shit during a Clippers game, Steve Ballmer got up and busted out some “landing signal officer on meth” moves. This is probably a STUNT QUEEN stunt to promote the Clippers, but I can still appreciate a bald man moving like a cracked out gorilla juggling invisible pins:
If he really wanted to give it up for his girl Fergie, he should’ve pissed in his khakis. Next time.