13 months after the birth of her first baby and 13 months after becoming married to someone, People says Jennifer Love Hewitt is knocked up with her second baby. Damn, bitch is motivated! In a little over a year, she’s managed to rent her womb out twice and get hitched. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here still trying to decide what to have for lunch yesterday.
A rep for Jennifer (Max Conners, I wish) says Jennifer and her husband Brian Hallisay are “thrilled” to be expecting a second baby. That’s it, just thrilled. Frankly, I’m shocked; Jennifer Love Hewitt always struck me as an “over the moon” type. She also totally strikes me as the type to post a picture of her Clearblue pregnancy piss stick to Instagram or vajazzle the words “WE’RE EXPECTING!” over her c-section scar, but that didn’t happen either. Jennifer Love Hewitt, are you ok?
Jennifer and her husband gave their 13-month-old daughter a name soaking in 70s glamour – Autumn James – so I’m really hoping that 9 months from now, they give us glamour pt. 2 by naming their baby something like Tuesday St. Cloud or Julie Stevens or Vicki LaCroix. And if it’s a boy, it should be just a whole mess of abbreviations, like T.J. Hallisay or B.J. Hallisay or R.J.J.R. Hallisay. Then again, having two kids named after seasons is cool too. Autumn and Summer? That actually sounds like a long-lost track from Let’s Go Bang. It’s perfect!