I really can’t wait for Ryan Murphy’s new FX anthology series American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson, because shit has got me intrigued and with each casting announcement I let out a bigger “HUH?”
So far, the cast is a motley crew of randoms. If I was casting it, I’d be more predictable. I’d cast Khloe Kardashian as O.J., Joe Jonas’ eyebrows as Robert Shapiro, Richard Simmons as Marcia Clark (they have the same hair) and Los Angeles news anchor Colleen Williams as Robert Kardashian (again, they have the same hair). But Ryan Murphy has gone into left field and pulled out the last actors you’d pick to play the roles they’re playing. Cuba Gooding Jr. is O.J. Simpson, David Schwimmer is Robert Kardashian, Sarah Paulson is Marcia Clark, and it was announced today that John Travolta will play lawyer and Shoedazzle co-founder Robert Shapiro. I don’t know if this show will be a major part of TV history, but I have a feeling it will be a major part of camp history.
TVLine says that the role of Robert Shapiro will be John’s first major TV role since Vinnie Barbarino in Welcome Back, Kotter. John will also be a producer on the 10-episode mini-series. Shooting begins soon in L.A.
This role is going to be truly transformative for John Travolta. He’ll have to shave off that naturally grown, naturally luscious, all-natural hair on his head to play a mostly balding Robert Shapiro. He can use the scraps for his eyebrows. I thought American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson was going to be a serious drama, but now that Ryan Murphy and John Travolta have joined forces for it, you can expect a whole lot of THEATER and many musical numbers. John Travolta will clinch the Emmy when he sings “It Wasn’t Him” to the tune of Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” in the courtroom with The Dancing Itos. If this works out, expect Ryan and John to team up again for American Horror Story: Whatever That Is On Travolta’s Chin.
And since we’re on the subject of our favorite Scientology sweetheart, Kirstie Alley, who is currently on her latest “I’m Not Fat Anymore” tour, recently told Sirius XM host Jennifer Hutt something “funny” that John Travolta does:
“John does the funniest thing that I’ve ever seen a human do.. and I don’t think anyone has ever seen it on – at least on television or something but he does the- what are they called?- the spanish novellas – and he does every character from the spanish novella and he has it so down.. and he does the best skits in the world! And I don’t think we’ve seen him do that enough.”
John Travolta’s life is pretty much a skit, so I believe her. But seriously, screw American Crime Story! Ryan Murphy and John Travolta should work together on an American remake of the masterpiece novella María la del Barrio. Travolta would make a startling Soraya “Largate” Montenegro. You know he performs this iconic scene every month in The Scientology Playhouse.
I bet he has the perfect wig for it too. Make this happen, Ryan Murphy!
Here’s Kirstie at the Girls premiere in NYC two nights ago.