The holes in my brain (and I’m sure there’s plenty since I’ve watched the Screech sex tape a couple of times) squirted out a stream of question marks last October when X-Men director and twink aficionado Bryan Singer announced that his best friend of 25 years Michelle Clunie (that’s Melanie Marcus to those of us who watched the American Queer As Folk) was knocked up with his kid. Well, that baby is now here. Last night, Bryan tweeted this picture of his and Michelle’s newborn baby son. If you put your ear to the screen you can almost hear Bryan’s Botoxed mug crack as he pushes out a fatherly smile.
Even though Bryan is quite bi-sexual, he and Michelle don’t fuck and they have a platonic friendship. It was reported that he bought her a house down the street from his and will pay for her living expenses. They plan to raise their son together. It’s very The Next Best Thing but without Benjamin Bratt, the drunken hetero boning and court battle. Bryan added this note with the picture of his family:
Michelle Clunie and I would like to welcome our beautiful son Dashiell Julius William Clunie~Singer into the world 🙂
They should’ve added just one more name since that kid’s name isn’t long enough. When Dashiell Julius Williams Clunie-Singer starts driving, he’s going to need a fold-out drivers license, because his full name won’t fit on a regular one.
Well, I guess having a kid is one way for people to forget that twink drugging and raping lawsuit (which was dropped) and see Bryan Singer as a family man. Hopefully Bryan has been hitting the weights, because he’s going to need a lot of strength to rock Baby Dashiell to sleep in one arm while using his other arm to snort a line of the bad shit off of a twink’s stomach at one of his pool parties.