Sometime actor and whoop-a-trick grand champion Olivier Martinez may find his ass being investigated by the LAPD again after he attacked a dude with an empty car seat at LAX yesterday afternoon. I know, this is so out of character for Olivier Martinez, because he’s always been known to be a sweet, serene and calm soul who could tame a rabid hyena with his soothing touch. Olivier is practically human Valerian and medical professionals have said that if you’re having a severe panic attack and don’t have any meds on you, just suck on Olivier’s peen because he cums liquid Valium. He’s that calm.
While looking like a hitchhiker-murdering serial killer from the 70s, Olivier went through LAX yesterday with Halle Berry, their son Maceo and her daughter Nahla. Halle held onto Maceo and Olivier held onto a car seat as they walked passed a bunch a paparazzi. LAX Airport Police tell TMZ that at one point the paps got really close to Olivier and his family and so he responded by using the car seat as a battering ram to knock a trick over. TMZ has video of Olivier shoving what looks like an airport employee to the floor. The airport employee complained about stomach pain, so the paramedics were called and he was treated at the scene before he was shuffled off to the hospital. On a scale from Kristen Stewart to Bjork, Olivier Martinez’s act of airport rage falls somewhere in the middle.
In Olivier’s defense (I hate myself for typing that), the airport employee he attacked was trying to take pictures of the baby. TMZ has a different video of the airport employee joining the pack of paps by recording video of Halle and her family with his phone. When I saw the first video, I let out a “Bitch is gonna get sued.” When I saw the second video, I really let out a “Bitch is gonna get sued,” because that airport employee might need some cash since he’ll probably be out of a job soon.
And since Halle and Olivier are getting some bad press, expect TMZ to post a story from an “inside source” who claims that Gabriel Aubry is a member of West Hollywood’s KKK chapter and once murdered an LAX employee and used bones from the dead body to make a car seat which he made Nahla sit in several times.