Madonna Is Sorry For Using Pictures Of Martin Luther King Jr. And Nelson Mandela To Promote Her New Album
To get people excited for her upcoming album (which has been leaked almost entirely onto the internet by some impatient fools who can’t wait ’till March to fill their ear holes with the sound of autotuned sex grunts), Madonna spent a good chunk of her day yesterday promoting Rebel Heart by Instagramming Photoshopped pictures of famous types wrapped in black licorice to mimic the album art, including Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Princess Diana, and Bob Marley.
Naturally, it pissed people off. And since Madonna would rather sell Rebel Heart for money than see it being given away as a Macy’s gift with purchase when you buy a 50ml bottle of Truth of Dare, she whipped up an apology and posted it to Facebook to let you know that she is so sowwy for offending you, and that it’s totally not Madonna’s fault:
“It’s not my fault! It’s my fans! They made the pictures, I just posted them!” has to be a new one. Has anyone ever used that before? Oh Madonna – you’re getting a little old to be throwing anything, let alone people under the bus. You’ve got to watch your back, Madonna!
Obviously using pictures of Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela to hock your collection of digitized granny yodels is next-level dumb, but if you’re going to do it, at least make sure you throw on the spell check when it comes time to issue a public apology. Martin Luther King Jr. is probably up in Heaven right now reading Madonna’s lazy apology and thinking “I have a dream that one day you’ll open a damn book and learn the correct use of there/their/they’re.” Madonna is richer than Scrooge McDuck’s right nut – that bitch could easily afford an in-house proof reader (unlike Michael K and I, who only have enough money in our budget for expired cans of Cactus Cooler and a bi-weekly delivery of signed 8×10 glossies of Phoebe Price).