Hot Slut Of The Day!

Dennis the obese Dachshund who lost 43 pounds and did it without the help from that scary Jillian Michaels muscle zombie or dog lipo.

Dennis used to weigh in at 56 pounds, which is a perfectly okay weight for a Collie or a 15-year-old Chanel model But for a little Dachshund, 56 pounds in Kirstie Alley circa 2004 territory. Dennis’ human, Brooklyn Burton (that’s a hot name) tells ABC News (via Uproxx) that she left her wiener with a relative for a little while and when she picked him up, he looked like an overstuffed ham with tiny eyes that were about to be swallowed up by his fat body. Dennis looked like something found in Jon Hamm’s pants. Dennis gained 43 pounds of chunk in the time he was with Brooklyn’s relatives. Dennis got fat the way some of us got fat during the holiday season: he filled his eating hole with delicious human food and treats. Brooklyn’s relative overfed his poor ass.

Brooklyn put Dennis on a strict diet and it took a full year, but he got down to 13 pounds. The good news is that Dennis can run up and down the stairs, which is not something he could do when he was obese. The bad news is that Brooklyn has to sweep her floor herself, because now that Dennis is skinny, he doesn’t have a FUPA that sweeps the floor when he walks around. Dennis had to get a tummy tuck to get rid of all of his excessive skin and he’s going to have another skin removal surgery later this month.

Yes, we live in a world where a Dachshund will have excess skin removal surgery TWICE. My credit card is weeping while thinking about that vet bill. If that happened to my chihuahua, I’d just tie his excess skin fat in a bow, throw some glitter on it and call it a look.

Here’s the video of Dennis’ body transformation:

I hope this leads to a new ABC show called Extreme Weight Loss: Dachshund Edition hosted by Dennis and Obie.