Georgette the Poodle’s less-fun human equivalent Gwyneth Paltrow is once again back to inform us ignorant dum-dums on a subject Gwyneth is clearly very knowledgeable about: MEAN GIRLS. And no, not the movie (I bet Goopy’s interpretation of Mean Girls would be that it’s a movie about a beautiful wealthy popular girl named Regina George who is relentlessly bullied by a bunch of jealous haters). Gwyneth already covered the topic of women being mean to other women once already this week in Harper’s Bazaar UK, but I guess she had more to say, because now she’s talking about mean bitches being mean bitches to Gwyneth Paltrow in the February issue of Marie Claire.
On the lady reporters who should be nicer to Goopy: I know what I want to do, and I’m going to do it. I don’t care so much about the men, but I wish that women were slightly more understanding of other women. A lot of women reporters try to pit me against other women doing entrepreneurial things. There’s room for everybody.
On the judgy moms judging Goopy for being a perfect mom: I think we are all genuinely doing our best, it’s hard to have children and a career, and all some women seem to do is judge other women’s choices. I find that demoralizing and unhelpful. Where is the wisdom coming out of this situation? I don’t see where this is getting us anywhere in terms of a cultural discussion.
On Goopy’s marriage ending because Goopy was too perfect: I had built my life on trying to be all things to all people, and I just couldn’t do it anymore, and I really had the sense that I wasn’t allowed to have needs, and I had to prove my specialness or self-worth by doing all this stuff and taking care of everybody else, and I just sort of hit a wall.
Thankfully, not everyone hates Gwyneth Paltrow; Goopy’s hairstylist friend David Babaii still loves her! Note: now we know the name of the person responsible for Gwyneth Paltrow’s dehydrated hay hair. David recently spoke to E! about losing 135 lbs thanks to the corn broom, and apparently Gwyneth taught him how to eat organic nothing chips and drink purified air smoothies. Speaking of which, if you too want to lose a couple pounds, as well as your will to live, GOOP’s annual detox is back! So, good news, everyone who wants to get real sick of lemons and kale.
Here’s more of Goopy in Marie Claire giving Madonna a run for her money in the “Mommy’s still sexy, right?” department: