Open New Year’s Day Post: Hosted By This Piping Hot Rhinestone Cowboy

January 1, 2015 / Posted by:

If you have a pink Andre hangover like me and it feels like you’ve been hit by a Kartrashian ass after reading an interview with Goopy Paltrow (in other words, you feel busted and are suffering from bruises on your brain), then let these stunning pictures of pucker-inducer Mickey Rourke soothe you and turn your pain into pleasure. If you’ve got a pounding headache, pretend like your head is banging against the headboard as Cowboy Mickey rides you hard as though you’re a rabid bull on meth. If you’re feeling vommy, then go with it and gag on the eleganza that Mickey’s bootleg Louis Vuitton belt is serving up. If you’ve had the blinds shut all day, because you’re afraid of what seeing light will do to you, face your fears and stare into Mickey’s bright, shining serene E.T. face.

Mickey and the giddy up glamour he’s giving you will get you through this difficult time. And if these pictures aren’t soothing you, then well, at least you have a visual for how you feel inside right now.

Here’s more of the fashion icon looking like Brokeback Mountain: Europe Circa 1995 (Side note: I’m beginning to think that Adrien Brody is Mickey’s stylist) at Nello’s in NYC yesterday. I also threw in pictures from a few weeks ago of Mickey looking like Julie Christie in Doctor Zhivago if Doctor Zhivago took place in a Chelsea gym.

Pics: Splash

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