Joseph Gordon-Levitt Got Secret Married Last Month

January 1, 2015 / Posted by:

The kid from 3rd Rock From The Sun (or as I know him as, DJ’s annoying ass friend on Roseanne) got married in a SHHH ceremony a few days before Christmas. If I knew that Joseph Gordon-Levitt had a girlfriend, then I completely forgot about that information and it was obviously removed from the battered metal memory cabinet in my brain and replaced with more important information like the middle names of the Property Brothers (it’s Silver and Alfred, by the way). Even though I really don’t know anything about JGL’s new wife, I can say that she’s a major catch, because think of the things she can do with those fingers dangling out of her crotch.

Yesterday, People EXCLUSIVO-LEY confirmed that JGL married his girlfriend Tasha McCauley at their home on December 20th. That’s pretty much all they know. JGL has said before that his girlfriend isn’t a Hollywood type and doesn’t want to be in that scene. Tasha McCauley is the founder and CEO of Fellow Robots, a robotics company that is based at NASA Research Park in the Silicon Valley.

I was going to call JGL the young George Clooney since he married a non-celebrity who is smart in the brain, but I can’t call him that. Because I don’t ever remember seeing video of JGL and Tasha fame whoring it up for the paps they called while waving from a boat before their publicity event of a wedding.

Pic: Pacific Coast News

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