Open Post: Hosted By A Woman’s Gas Pump Struggle

December 31, 2014 / Posted by:

One of the proudest and brightest moments of my year was when I was a little drunk (okay, a lotta drunk) and a little stoned (okay, a lotta stoned) and I went to take my dog to piss and caca downstairs. When I got back to my apartment door, I stuck the key in and the bitch didn’t work. I stuck it in again and wiggled it a bit. Nothing. (That’s the story of my life, by the way.) I did that a third time and when that didn’t work, I played with the knob before trying to push open the door. Still nothing. I started to think that in the 10 minutes I had been gone, someone broke into my apartment, changed the locks and was on the other side of the door, cackling at me while eating my goddamn Ben & Jerry’s. Just when I was about to scream for the police, I looked up at the door. Not only was I standing in front of the wrong apartment, but I was on the wrong floor. Sadly, that wasn’t the first time I’ve done that. Or the second. Or the third. It won’t be the last either. So I feel this messy woman’s struggle even though I had an excuse.

But really, that video is a visual metaphor for life. Aren’t we all just circling and circling, looking for a hole to stick the pump in? Or if you’re strictly a bottom, then you’re just circling and circling, look for a pump to stick in your hole. That video is all of us.

via Tastefully Offensive

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