After all the threats, hacks and messiness, The Interview was released onto the Internet and on 331 screens last week. The hackers threatened to unleash violence on the theaters showing it and so far it looks like the only weapon of destruction that caused people pain was the movie itself. No, I can’t say that since I haven’t seen that shit. I was going to watch it over the weekend, but then I discovered that I only had 4 weed buds left and I need at least 8 to get through a Seth Rogen movie. Nothing is more painful and scary than running out of the good shit halfway through a movie starring James Franco and Seth Rogen. I told one of my friends that and she slapped me back with, “Oh, so a person who makes dick and fart jokes all day is suddenly above a movie with nothing but dick and fart jokes in it?” Don’t you hate it when people tell you the truth?
NBC News says that Sony claims The Interview was bought or rented more than 2 million times during the Christmas weekend. It’s now the most successful straight-to-VOD release of all-time and forever. It made another $3 million in theaters. The Wrap thinks this might be a game changer and lead to other studios releasing new movies on VOD at the same time they release it in theaters. But then again, it might not. The Interview cost $44 million to make so Sony might not get their money back.
If anything good comes out of this Interview disaster, I hope it will be more new movies coming out on VOD. The world would be a better place if you could watch new movies from your couch, far away from screaming children, people getting up to piss every 5 minutes, hos browsing Tinder and oldies screaming, “WHAT DID HE SAY, ETHEL?!”
Since we’re on the subject of movie grosses, here’s how the weekend’s box office looked:
1. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies – $40.4 million
2. Unbroken – $33.3 million
3. Into the Woods – $32.6 million
4. Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb – $21.6 million
5. Annie – $17.3 million
6. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 – $10.4 million
7. The Gambler – $8.4 million
8. The Imitation Game – $7.9 million
9. Exodus: Gods and Kings – $6.3 million
10. Wild – $5.15 million
Deadline says that Unbroken did really well with “faith-based crowds” in middle America. “Faith-based middle Americans” is one way of saying “Brangeloonies who dragged their entire family to see their God’s new movie.”