You know, “date” is such a strong word, especially when it comes to a hot hit-it-and-quit-it piece like Orlando Bloom. Fuck several times, yes, but can you imagine dating that? Eventually you’d have to have an awkward conversation about all that random surfer bro jewelery and that tragic tribal sun tattoo on his upper dick area, and I’m not sure it would be worth it. However, someone thinks it would be, and that person is human-sized orange-flavoured singing Fruit Wrinkle Ed Sheeran.
Ed Sheeran told Now magazine (via HuffPo) that he thinks Legolas Greenleaf would be a great match for his boy-crazy BFF Taylor Swift, and he’s hoping they might consider getting together. According to Ed Sheeran, they have a lot in common: they live in the same building, and…well, that’s about it – they live in the same building:
“He’s lovely, and they live in the same building. [I’m hoping that] the magic might present itself eventually.”
Tay Tay has said recently that she’s taking a bit of a break from dating, so Ed might have to wait a bit for that “magic” to happen, but when it does, he’ll know. Hell, we’ll ALL know; Tay Tay is papped at least 4 times a day walking in and out of her building, so it will be CODE BLUE the second she steps out with someone who isn’t a cat.
Here’s more of Tay Tay’s potential next break-up song in Cancun with some mystery blonde that I choose to believe has been hired by Orlando to apply SPF-50 to his upper dick area tribal sun. Nobody wants sun burnt skin flakes falling onto their balls!