Seen above during one of her weekly virgin blood-flavored fluoride tray treatments, perpetually horny singing memaw Madonna is still pissed that the tracks from her upcoming album Rebel Heart keep leaking onto the internet. And this time she’s double pissed, because she hates that people think the most recently leaked track, “Two Steps Behind”, sounds an awful lot like she’s dragging Lady Gaga. Even though it was rumored way back in August that “Two Steps Behind” is a not-so-subtle swipe at her unauthorized low-budget impersonator, and the fact that the lyrics sound like something the runner-up in a Miss Teen Talent pageant would find scrawled on her dressing room mirror, Madonna wants you to know IT’S NOT ABOUT GAGA!
According to Billboard, Madonna’s manager Guy Oseary decided to do a Q&A on Twitter yesterday, and naturally one of the question asked was whether or not “Two Steps Behind” was about Gaga. Guy was adamant that it was NOT about Gaga (or anyone in particular). Shortly after, Madonna followed up Guy’s answer with her own on Instagram, where she hissed at all the troublemaking gossips trying to start shit between Madonna and Madonna Jr.
You might still be able to listen to “Two Steps Behind” in some small secret corners of the internet, but as of right now, Madonna’s maybe/maybe not love letter to Gaga is getting yanked from all the obvious places. But if you really, REALLY want to know what it sounds like, throw on Regina George’s monologue about Janis Ian and set it to a digital pop beat – I’m sure it’s pretty close to the real thing.
And for those of you thinking “Well, at least Lady Gaga had the good sense to not get involved in this mess“, sorry – but Lady Gaga decided to get involved in this mess. Sort of. Shortly after “Two Steps Behind” leaked, Gaga posted an Instagram selfie with the caption: “Careful witch, I’ll put a spell on you. Or maybe I already did.” Hopefully it wasn’t the same spell she cast on herself before the release of ARTPOP, or Madonna’s really in trouble!