Alternate title: “Vito Schnabel Took His Reality TV Cougar Girlfriend To St. Barts”. Alternate alternate title: “Two Rich Assholes Went To A Fancy French Island.” And yes, I’m only calling them assholes because I’m a jealous hater who is just jealous that I’m not spending my holiday week topless on a fancy French island like Heidi Klum and her 28-year-old art dealer boyfriend. Instead I’m freezing my ass off – not topless – and eating what’s left of a tin of stale gingerbread cookies. Life – she truly is not fair.
Heidi took the dude she’s fucking to St. Barts after Christmas, just like every other rich and/or famous ho on the planet, and I’m sure they’re having a rip-roaring good time. At the very least, they seem comfortable around each other; Heidi went topless and let her ass hang out. Usually when you’re still testing the waters, it’s either one or the other, but both? That’s a special moment for a couple. Before you know it, Heidi will be ripping hot farts on Vito and asking him to hold the mirror while she checks under her butt flaps for tan lines.
Here’s more of Heidi and Vito on a beach in St. Barts, including several NSFW pics of Heidi’s 41-year-old titty pops and her deflated bum, and a couple NSFGR (not safe for gag reflexes) pictures of Vito’s sunburnt turkey jerky torso: