Taylor Swift Tried To Make A Low-Key Appearance At A Broadway Show, But Was Ratted Out By Jon Voight
Taylor Swift decided to spend her Christmas Eve eve (that’s a thing people celebrate, right?) doing what sounds like my nightmare: getting dressed up all fancy-like and going to the theatre. Christmas Eve eve is the night you pre-game for Christmas Eve by getting drunk on rum spiked with Baileys and eating Nanaimo bars till you start to lose all the feeling in your fingers, not spending $95 to be on your best behavior.
Regardless, Tay Tay is clearly much more refined than us drunks, because Page Six says she took her family to see Beautiful: The Carole King Musical on Christmas Eve eve, but unfortunately, Tay Tay wasn’t able to fly under the radar like she had hoped to, because St. Angie Jolie’s loudmouth father Jon Voight blew her cover. According to sources, Tay Tay managed to go unnoticed until intermission, and that’s when Jon Voight shouted across the theatre: “Taylor Swift! How are you?” Obviously hearing the words ‘Taylor Swift’ is like a Manchurian Candidate verbal trigger for girls aged seven to thirteen, so Taylor was mobbed by selfie-seeking fans. Good job, Jon Voight! Although – silver lining – at least he got her name right.
But is it really Jon Voight’s fault that Tay Tay was discovered? First off, St. Angie didn’t receive her gifts of quiet saintly humility from her father (she inherited them from her mentor, Jesus), so it’s kind of in his nature to talk first, think later. Second, he might have been drunk; hey, it was Christmas Eve eve. Finally, even if he hadn’t shouted out her name, Tay Tay would have still been mobbed by fans. It’s impossible for her to go incognito – she’s a 6-foot tall Disney Princess-looking humanoid giraffe.
Here’s Tay Tay looking like a Republican senator’s second wife as she arrives at Hugh Jackman’s play The River on Christmas Eve: