Since there’s a lot of sweet nectar to guzzle down, a lot of gay apparel to don and a lot of family fights to be had, Allison and I are taking the rest of Jesus’ born day off and we’ll be back tomorrow unless we have to run away from home after pushing a Christmas tree on our family members because we didn’t get them cha cha heels. Or get arrested after a cop catches us boning a trick we met on Tinder in the Jehovah’s Witness parking lot after midnight (it’s a holiday tradition).
So for now I leave with this perfect holiday portrait of the lighter to my black eyeliner pencil, Danny Trejo, ruling his kingdom on his throne while flashing his chest pies and working a Dallas Cowboys Santa hat, a pair of old-school creased baggy cholo jorts and white socks with black shoes. That IS the look of 2014. You better bow down to Trejo Claus before that white doggy-in-waiting cuts you, because she looks like she’s looking for a fight.
Merry Christmas, hos!