Brad Pitt Is “Too Distracting” For Jury Duty

December 19, 2014 / Posted by:

Anyone who’s ever tried to get out of jury duty knows that shit is expert-level hard. You gotta make up lies about your cat needing 24-hour care and being severely allergic to legal jargon and the invisible talking grasshopper who told you that everyone who wears glasses is always guilty. But not Brad Pitt! According to The Daily Mail, Brad Pitt recently got out of jury duty on account of being Brad Pitt.

Last Friday, St. Angie’s husband showed up to the court house in downtown Los Angeles after receiving notification that he was needed for jury duty, but was reportedly turned away during the interview process because the court thought the presence of Oscar-winning superstar Brad Pitt in the jury box might be “too distracting” for people during the trial. An insider says Brad thought serving on a jury would be interesting and was actually hoping he’d get chosen for a short case, so I can imagine a whole lot of sadness snacks were eaten in the car ride back to Ch√Ęteau du Cheekbones.

Celebrities serve on juries all the time, so I’m wondering what the real reason for was giving Brad the boot. It was probably because they knew there was a 96% chance he wouldn’t shower before he came to court and would end up stinking up the jury box with his damp nut smell and stale weed hair. No need to worry though – I’m sure Judge Jesus will select him for the jury that oversees the trial of St. Angie vs. Scott Rudin’s rude-ass comments about St. Angie in Heaven early next year.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >