During an interview with the very British-sounding RadioTimes.com (via NY Daily News) about his very British Black Mirror Christmas special, The Hammaconda’s handsome human handler Jon Hamm confessed that the reason you’ll never see him play a superhero like Superman or Superman’s hunky uncle Sexyman (that’s a superhero that exists, right?) is because at 43-years-old, he’s too old for that shit. Jon admits that he’s been offered quite a few superhero roles, but he’ll never take them because he’s nearing the age where his superhero’s greatest foe will be hair loss and high cholesterol:
“The deals that they make you do are so draconian. And, of course, you are signed on for not only the movie that you are signed on for … but at least two more that you haven’t read and you have no idea what they are going to be and all the crossover ones you are going to have to do. For me to sign on now to do a superhero movie would mean I would be working until I am 50 as that particular superhero.”
He also went on to say that it’s not just that he’s too old; it’s also that nobody outside of giant penis enthusiasts even know who the fuck he is:
“Ask anyone under the age of 20 if they have heard of me and they will go, ‘No, that guy looks like my dad.’ It doesn’t compute to the generation that most of Hollywood cares about. If your last name’s not Hemsworth or you are not in One Direction or you don’t wear a cape and tights for a living, you literally have a hard time making an impression.”
On the other hand, if you ask anyone over the age of 20 if they have heard of him, they will go “Is this a serious question? YES, that guy looks like a dad. A dad I’d like to…well, you know.” So really, it’s all relative. But it is nice that Jon Hamm is pretending that the reason he hasn’t taken a superhero role is because he’s too old, and not because he knows he’d cause mass crotch explosions if audiences ever saw his spandex-wrapped ham sausage projected 20-feet tall onto an IMAX screen.