Denver, the reigning Empress of Guilt, has returned to once again show Catholics how guilt is really done.
Denver became a viral superstar in 2011 when a video of her perfecting the guilt face after getting caught eating cat treats got millions and millions of views. Denver has returned in a holiday special that is more riveting and has more layers than Grumpy Cat’s Christmas movie. When Denver’s human comes home, he catches her red-mouthed after she ALLEGEDLY ate some Christmas balls. I almost screamed “What’s the number to 911?!” when I saw Denver with a mouthful of red, because I thought she had eaten glass balls. But I’m pretty sure she ate red dyed popcorn balls.
Denver is truly an inspiration. Her one life motto is “I’m sorry and I’d do it again” and she lives it to the fullest. She doesn’t give a fuck while giving a fuck.
And I’ve convinced myself that Denver’s human is Woody Harrelson. I hope I’m right and I really hope that True Detective season 3 is all about Denver and her antics.