Last night, this picture of the benevolent earth God St. Angie Jolie shooting glares of hot ice into the skin of Amy Pascal made the rounds. The picture was taken at The Hollywood Reporter’s Women in Entertainment Breakfast on Wednesday, a day after the Sony Hack delivered us a digital gift in the form of Scott Rudin calling St. Angie Jolie a “minimally talented spoiled brat” during a fight with Amy about David Fincher directing the Steve Jobs biopic. I love it when St. Angie Jolie’s golden halo turns into a ring of fire and she has to fight the urge to tear a trick apart with her vampire dragon claws.
Scott Rudin is the one who did all of the saint bashing in those e-mails and Amy sort of kind of defended St. Angie. So I’m guessing that in that picture, Amy is doing some serious saint ass sucking by saying, “Don’t listen to that goat-footed wheezy old queen. Cleopatra is going to be a worldwide billion dollar extravaganza masterpiece and the world’s supply of gold will run out because the Academy will have to invent new categories just so they can give you as many Oscars as possible. By the way, let me get you a screener for Exodus. You must want to see that movie since it’s about Gods and you’re a God and all.” Meanwhile, St. Angie is wondering why this peon is holding her like that and isn’t on her knees kissing her hooves.
But we all know who the true star of that picture is:
Giving me Charlize as Aileen Wuornos sans all the dirtiness, craziness and killer stuff. That lady is the tattle tale sibling of a brat who just got in trouble for not acting right. That look says: “Ooooh, you’re about to get whooped and I’m here for the show.”
In more Sony Hack news, The Daily Beast says the hack has revealed what Jennifer Lawrence’s email is and what Brad Pitt signs some of his emails with:
Without giving the actual email handles away (they’re all followed by various other characters), these A-list stars have some seriously great email addresses. Lawrence’s is “peanutbutt,” and Pitt’s is a bizarre alias “_____ Phizz.” Furthermore, Pitt sometimes signs his emails “B P McWee.”
I’m telling myself that blank space in Brad Pitt’s alias is “Jizz” Peanutbutt, JizzPhizz and BP McWee… The Sony Hack has confirmed that on the inside, every Hollywood power type is a 13-year-old suburban boy who wants to be a rapper.
Pics: AP, Splash