And No Golden Globe Nomination For You, St. Angie Jolie!

December 11, 2014 / Posted by:

“For behold, the Lord is coming out from his place to punish the inhabitants of the earth for their iniquity, and the earth will disclose the blood shed on it, and will no more cover its slain.” – Isaiah 26:21

Well, it’s pretty clear to me now what that Bible verse really means and what it means by “iniquity.” The “iniquity” that Bible verse is talking about is St. Angie Jolie not getting a Best Director Golden Globe nomination for Unbroken. We’ve had a mostly good run, world, but God’s gonna really git us for this and “he’s” gonna do more than just put pregnancy fat on our bodies.

Going into the season where rich and famous Hollywood hos jack each other off while wearing tuxedos and $8,000 borrowed gowns, St. Angie was the front runner for the best director game and pretty much everyone has been saying that she’s a lock for an Oscar nom. But today, God’s newest #1 enemy, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, didn’t throw her a nomination and completely shut out Unbroken. Unbroken is broke, bitch.

This is just Scott Rudin’s impact at work!

If in the early aughts you were a member of Team Aniston and still have your Team Aniston t-shirt you bought at Kitson (I judge you for that, by the way), pull it out and wear it proudly today. Because Brangelina didn’t get one Golden Globe nomination (Correction: Brad Pitt got one since he’s a producer on Selma), but Jennifer Aniston did for Cake. Every Cabbage Patch Doll just quadrupled in value, because it’s turning out to be the season of Aniston!

All of the nominations are after the cut. Both Gyllenhaals got nominated, Julianne Moore got nominated twice and Transparent got some and it’s going to be another Green sister show down, because Reese Witherspoon and Jen are in the same category. Jessica Lange also got a nom for American Horror Story: Freak Show and I squinted my eyes at that at first, but she earned it thanks to that brow game and busted accent.

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Boyhood
Selma
The Imitation Game
The Theory of Everything
Foxcatcher

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Reese Witherspoon, Wild
Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl
Felicity Jones, The Theory of Everything
Jennifer Aniston, Cake

BEST ACTOR, MOTION PICTURE DRAMA
Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything
Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game
Steve Carell, Foxcatcher
David Oyelowo, Selma
Jake Gyllenhaal, Nightcrawler

BEST DIRECTOR
Richard Linklater, Boyhood
Alejandro González Iñárritu, Birdman
Ava DuVernay, Selma
David Fincher, Gone Girl
Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel

BEST TV DRAMA
The Good Wife
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
The Affair
House of Cards

BEST ACTOR, TV SERIES, DRAMA
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
Clive Owen, The Knick
Dominic West, The Affair
James Spader, The Blacklist
Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan

BEST ACTRESS, TV SERIES, DRAMA
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Robin Wright, House of Cards
Viola Davis, How to Get Away With Murder
Ruth Wilson, The Affair
Claire Danes, Homeland

BEST MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Birdman
Into the Woods
St. Vincent
Pride
The Grand Budapest Hotel

BEST ACTRESS, MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Emily Blunt, Into the Woods
Amy Adams, Big Eyes
Julianne Moore, Maps to the Stars
Helen Mirren, The Hundred-Foot Journey
Quvenzhané Wallis, Annie

BEST ACTOR, MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Michael Keaton, Birdman
Ralph Fiennes, The Grand Budapest Hotel
Bill Murray, St. Vincent
Joaquin Phoenix, Inherent Vice
Christoph Waltz, Big Eyes

BEST TV COMEDY
Girls
Jane the Virgin
Orange Is the New Black
Silicon Valley
Transparent

BEST ACTRESS IN A TV SERIES, COMEDY
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Taylor Schilling, Orange Is the New Black
Lena Dunham, Girls
Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

BEST ACTOR IN A TV SERIES, COMEDY
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Ricky Gervais, Derek
Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent
Louis C.K., Louie
William H. Macy, Shameless

BEST TV MINISERIES OR MOVIE
True Detective
Fargo
The Normal Heart
Olive Kitteridge
The Missing

BEST ACTRESS IN A TV MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge
Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Honorable Woman
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Frances O’Connor, Missing
Allison Tolman, Fargo

BEST ACTOR IN A TV MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Matthew McConaughey, True Detective
Billy Bob Thornton, Fargo
Martin Freeman, Fargo
Woody Harrelson, True Detective
Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A TV SERIES, MINISERIES, OR MOTION PICTURE
Allison Janney, Mom
Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black
Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Michelle Monaghan, True Detective
Joan Frogatt, Downton Abbey

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A TV SERIES, MINISERIES, OR MOTION PICTURE
Matthew Bomer, The Normal Heart
Jon Voight, Ray Donovan
Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
Colin Hanks, Fargo

BEST SCREENPLAY, MOTION PICTURE
Birdman
Boyhood
Gone Girl
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Ida
Tangerine Mandarin
Leviathan
Force Majeure
Gett: The Trial of Viviane Amsalem

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, MOTION PICTURE
J.K. Simmons, Whiplash
Edward Norton, Birdman
Mark Ruffalo, Foxcatcher
Ethan Hawke, Boyhood
Robert Duvall, The Judge

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS, MOTION PICTURE
Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
Emma Stone, Birdman
Meryl Streep, Into the Woods
Keira Knightley, The Imitation Game
Jessica Chastain, A Most Violent Year

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
The Lego Movie
Big Hero 6
How to Train Your Dragon 2
The Boxtrolls
The Book of Life

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
John Legend & Common, “Glory” (Selma)
Lana Del Rey, “Big Eyes” (Big Eyes)
Patti Smith, “Mercy Is” (Noah)
Sia, “Opportunity” (Annie)
Lorde, “Yellow Flicker Beat” (The Hunger Games: Mockingjay — Part I)

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Johann Johannsson, The Theory of Everything
Alexandre Desplat, The Imitation Game
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross, Gone Girl
Antonio Sanchez, Birdman
Hans Zimmer, Interstellar

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