Avril Lavigne Is Sick With Some Kind Of Mysterious Illness

December 10, 2014 / Posted by:

Let’s get the obvious joke out of the way: “Did she accidentally listen to one of her husband’s albums?

If you happen to visit a Hot Topic store sometime in the next few weeks and wonder why there doesn’t seem to be anybody working, it’s because all the employees are back in the break room holding a candlelight vigil for their queen, Avril Lavigne. According to Billboard, the Manic Panic pixie dream goblin is sick with an unspecified illness and is asking fans to pray for her.

It all started when a fan messaged Avril on Twitter asking why she was MIA and if she was working on a new album. Avril responded by saying that she’s not feeling well and is having some┬áhealth issues, adding “please keep me in your prayers“. That’s when the hashtag #prayforavril was born on Twitter.

Avril won’t say exactly what’s going on, but her rep reached out to Billboard to confirm that she is having health issues, but stresses that she’s absolutely not knocked up with a noodle-haired Nickelbaby.

I’m no doctor, but I think I know what’s going on here. Avril Lavigne just turned 30, so her mysterious illness could be an allergic reaction to still dressing like a 14-year-old girl. Every time she pulls on her favorite pair of hot pink and black Hello Kitty leggings or a ripped up off-the-shoulder sweatshirt that says KAWAII CUPCAKE PUNK PRINCESS, her body is like “No no NO! You are too old for this scene-teen skate park mall rat shit!” and breaks out into an itchy rash that stays on her body until she puts on something that wasn’t bought in the Juniors section and/or came with a coupon for a free pack of purple clip-in hair extensions.

But if that’s not the diagnosis, then I hope whatever Avril is dealing with is over soon. Canada needs their first lady back!

Pic: Avril Lavigne

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