The only thing that’s really missing is Parasite Hilton’s tongue on his mouth and Robin Thicke humping his ass (insert JealousUsher.Gif here).
Justin Bieber took a break from ruining the health and lives of animals to bleach his mop blond. He’s just being Miley! All that bleach and he still looks sucio. If the Biebs was going for “Vanilla Ice’s bleached asshole,” then he nailed it. But whatever, the Beliebers (yes, those still exist) seem to love it and are fapping over his “6th grade dropout who ran away from his Florida trailer park home at 16 and traded ass for meth at truck stops throughout the south” look (in other words, the Aaron Carter look). The most tragic thing about the Biebs’ new look is his eyebrow situation. Bitch, you ain’t Mariel Hemingway. You can’t work the blond hair/dark brows look.
In other constipated toddler douche news, Curbed says that the Biebs got a new house to go with his new look. He’s apparently spending $59,000 a month on a Beverly Hills mansion that looks like a Texas office park shit on a pile of vomit that a biotech lab barfed up. Well, the good news for Justin’s dogs is that I don’t see any balconies in these pictures.