Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 6, 2014 / Posted by:

Oran “Juice” Jones! 

The luxurious lady of opulence on that album covers gets a HSOTD honorable mention, because while OJ is delivering Chess King poses (never mind those wrinkly ass pants) for the camera, she gets to lounge on the floor with a glass of the finest champagne and wonder what she’s going to buy at the grocery store for dinner once this shoot is over.

Oran “Juice” Jones, the only OJ who matters to me, was in the United States Marin Corps until he busted on the music stroll in 1986 with the player anthem “The Rain.“The Rain” was a Billboard hit and got OJ two Grammy nominations. (Side note: Remember when the Grammys honored true lyrical masterpieces like “The Rain.” Now they’re honoring shit for your ears like “All About That Bass.“)

Because of “The Rain,” OJ’s debut album did well, but his second one didn’t do as well and his third album failed to chart. Wikipedia says that OJ quit the bitch that is the music industry in the late 80s to take care of his sick mother and raise his family. He put out a comeback album in 1997. Since then he has written pieces for hip hop blogs and scores music for movies and commercials. OJ’s legacy will forever live on thanks to “The Rain.” The video for “The Rain” is everything and has everything you need in a music video. There’s intrigue, drama, glamour, rain, arm dancing and Oscar-worthy scenes. Both the song and video serve as a gold digger PSA. If you’re going to cheat on your sugar daddy with an alley cat coat wearing, Hush-Puppy-shoe-wearing crumb cake, then you better not get caught or all those jewels and silk suits will be gone and you’ll be wandering the streets in your sleeping clothes.

OJ kind of gives me shades of Eddie Murphy, but Eddie Murphy could never deliver a scene like that.

That monologue at the end is seriously Shakespearean. That shit is a sonnet for the scorned. It’s pure poetry from “now close your mouth cause you cold busted” to “you without me is like cornflakes without milk.

You haven’t dumped a cheating piece the right way until you’ve dumped them by saying, “You’re dismissed!” 

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