The Epitome Of Maternal Grace Lost Joint Custody Of Her Daughters

Anti-Lucite super villain Lorenzo Lamas blatantly slandered the Empress of Lucite last month when he filed court papers claiming that she has the parental skills of a dead gnat on Not The Mama June’s Forklift Foot and shouldn’t have joint custody of their three teenage daughters. Lorenzo claimed that Shauna Sand is constantly moving new boy toys into her home and spends her sex tape money on frivolous crap like a Bentley. Lorenzo asked the court to give him primary custody. Their daughters sided with Lorenzo and asked the judge to give him primary custody Well, it was judgement day for Shauna Sand yesterday and she lost. Every day-shift stripper now knows why the platforms of her exquisite Lucite heels shattered yesterday afternoon.

TMZ says that a judge gave primary custody of the three girls to Lorenzo. The girls will live with Lorenzo full-time and the Empress of Lucite gets them every other weekend. The judge made the decision after hearing from their daughters. The three girls, ages 13, 15 and 17, told the judge that their mom is a real-life Miss Hannigan who verbally abuses them by calling them “cunts and bitches.” The daughters also claim that two of them slept on the sofa and one slept by herself in the guesthouse because Shauna rented out their rooms. I know, Beauty of the Millennium AND Mother of the Century.

TMZ says that the Empress of Lucite was in tears when the judge declared their decision and her daughters were happy.

Hmmmm….

Lorenzo Lamas was in a shitty remake of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea called 30,000 Leagues Under The Sea and in that movie the members of the crew are attached to a brainwashing machine. Now I’m not saying that Lorenzo Lamas somehow got a hold of that totally real brainwashing machine and strapped his daughters to it. I’m just saying that someone should look into that.

But seriously, I’ll pull my head out of Shauna’s Lucite anus and say that this is for the best. Her daughters get to live with their dad, which is what they wanted, and Shauna gets to fully be a landlady to Euro boy toys who will co-star with her in staged fuck scenes for the paps.