Open Post: Hosted By Tom Cruise Barely Escaping Death!

December 4, 2014 / Posted by:

You’ve probably already seen the dramatic headlines saying that the golden son of Scientology Tommy Girl nearly got plowed hard by a big, long (pause) bus in London while shooting the latest Mission Impossible movie the other day.

I’m overdramatic with my headlines and posts, but some hos were really overdramatic by saying that Tommy had a very near miss with that bus. The bus was 100 miles away. Besides, Tommy is a high-level Scientology bridge queen and he has the powers to prove it. Tommy can stop that bus with his mind and if that doesn’t work his crazy ass can scream at it about the dangers of evil anti-depressants until it chokes on glibness and shuts down. That bus doesn’t scare Tommy. Xenu, please. Tommy has seen John Travolta dance naked and wig-less to Outer Space Girls in the Scientology sauna while drunk on barley wine. Nothing scares him.

That being said, I’m sure that bus driver was kidnapped by Scientology goons and is now scrubbing toilets at Gold Base.

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