I think it goes without saying that I just pictured Lady Gaga in a flannel shirt and a trucker hat screaming “DEY TOOK OUR JERBS!”
For the fourth time in her career, Professional Cool Mom Madonna has been chosen as the face of a Versace campaign, thus signing Lady Gaga’s walking papers. The Daily Mail doesn’t say why Gaga is gone after only one season as the vacant, Photoshopped to Mars and back face of Ver-sayce, but my guess is that Donatella Versace figured “Why use imitation Madonna when you can use the real thing?” and gave her the boot. Then again, maybe Donatella didn’t mean to replace Gaga with Madonna, she just wasn’t specific enough. “Breeng me the blonde pop star. You know, the one who sounds like Madonna. Now leave Donatella alone, Donatella needs to take nap.”
Speaking of the vaguely-human hand puppet, Donatella says she chose her friend Madonna for Versace’s SS15 campaign because she’s a “true icon”, with Madonna adding:
“It’s always exciting to be dressed head-to-toe in Versace and experience first-hand Donatella’s vivid imagination and passion that she has created for this collection.”
Vivid imagination? The hell? The entire campaign is shot in black and white against a grey backdrop. Someone better check Donatella for color blindness. Or maybe they had to shoot it in black and white because it was the only way they could add two tons of Photoshop to Madonna’s face and hands without drawing too much attention. Those hands! I’ve seen 2-month-old babies with more wrinkles on their hands.
But I will say that Madonna does look pretty hot. And in one of the shots, she also looks very itchy. And uncomfortable. Maybe Donatella was going for a post-modern yeast infection theme? Oooh, so artsy.