Open Post: Hosted By The Perfect Portrait Of Class And Refinement

December 1, 2014 / Posted by:

Here’s pictures of Sport’s Illustrated swimsuit model, former Carl’s Jr. spokesho and charm school professor of my dreams, Nina Agdal, crawling on the pavement before opening her mouth wide for a load of beer poured by her man Reid Heidenry. I see that judgmental dude in the blue throwing a glare of jealousy at my new idol. He wishes he was the one giving a golden shower show in front of the paps he called. In Nina and Reid’s defense, these pictures were taken in Miami and it’s always Spring Break in Miami. Breathing in that fuckery-filled Florida air just makes you want to get on the sidewalk beneath a man and let him fill your mouth hole with beer from a bottle that he’s holding at crotch level. If Ray-J art directed a beer ad, this is what it would look like.

I can never ever judge Nina Agdal’s fame whore antics. Nina Agdal is that model who got dumped by dirty piece of tampon lint Adam Levine via text message. When Adam Levine dumps you through a text message, any dignity you had left turns to dust. So I say, fame whore on, Nina!

Pics: Pacific Coast News

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