Newsflash, Benny – it doesn’t matter what the message is, those crazy Cumberbitches will automatically translate it into: “Your internet boyfriend has a message for you: I LOVE YOU, LET’S GET MARRIED“. Emmet Otter’s fancy British cousin Benedict Cumberbatch recently spoke to People about his online legion of die-hard obsessed fans, The Cumberbitches, and says he’s flattered that there are so many humanoid otter enthusiasts out there, but he’s got a bit of a problem with the name they’ve chosen. Eggs Benedict then put on his best Women’s Studies Professor caftan and schooled those Cumberbitches on their misuse of the word ‘bitch’:
“But on a serious note, come on, give yourself more power as women. Don’t just call yourself bitches! I know it was a joke, and more of an empowering thing. The majority of [the fans] are smart and savvy and just having fun, but it’s getting out there. It sounds a bit [rude].”
Benedict suggested they might want to call themselves something else, like Cumbersomes, Cumbercollective, or Cumberfans instead. Ok, what about Dick Cummers? Or Cum Sluts? Is that still too rude? I think it might be too rude.
But I think it’s adorable that Benedict is clutching his pearls over the nickname Cumberbitches, because those horny horny Tumblr hos could have gone with something waaaaaay worse. For a dude whose name has both the words Dick and Cum in it, I’d say they kept it pretty tame.
And here’s the alien lizard apple of every Cum Chum’s eye wearing a mangy ginger poodle as a wig while filming Richard III. Seriously, what is that wig: it looks like polyester took dry shit on sadness.