Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 22, 2014 / Posted by:

The rebooted Puppy Surprise!

Yes, the world is a shitty, gross place where shitty, gross things happen all the time, but sometimes magical good things happen. Case in point: The triumphant comeback of Puppy Surprise! Puppy Surprise has risen from the ashes like a cotton candy-haired, knocked up phoenix. Puppy Surprise (and Kitty Surprise and Bunny Surprise and Pony Surprise) were put down by Hasbro in 1993 after only two years on the shelves. But this past summer, toy company Just Play brought Puppy Surprise back from the dead and gave it a second chance at ruling the toy scene. Because everyone loves a knocked up, pink-haired raver puppy whose got a plushie gut full of raver puppies, Puppy Surprise has been a huge hit and they can’t keep up with the demand.

Charlie Embry, one of the founders of Just Play, tells Bloomberg Businessweek that they stopped showing the commercial on TV, because people can’t get enough of that weird ass mommy puppy whose hair obviously needs a date with a tube of Vo5 hot oil treatment. Just Play also makes Care Bears and in the four years they’ve been in business, they’ made $160 million in overall sales.

Just Play pretty much kept Puppy Surprise the same. Kids still give her a c-section by opening up her stomach and they still don’t know how many puppies she’s knocked with. The puppies are all different shapes, sizes and colors. So kids will still get to experience that feeling of rage and wanting to call the authorities when they perform a C-section on their dog and only 3 puppies are in there. Ripped off! Just Play did add something new. The puppies with rubber faces are “born” with closed eyes. You can open their eyes by dipping them in cold water. I’m guessing the rubber-faced puppies are plastered on the sweet nectar, because splashing my face with cold water is what my friends and family members do to me when I’m passed out drunk and they want me to open up my eyes.

Puppy Surprise has a new commercial (which you can watch here), but I’ve thrown up the old one, because it’s better. This is how some kids learned about reproduction. They were probably so confused years later when they went into labor and the doctor didn’t deliver their baby by pulling open their velcro’d stomach.

All hail Just Play! They’re the Misty Day of the toy world and are bringing pieces from our childhoods back to life. I wonder if they take requests, because I’ve got a never-ending list that starts with Fireball Island.

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