On Saturday, Jose Canseco – the human manifestation of the word DURR – made everyone do a quick reach for the brain bleach when he tweeted that the middle finger he accidentally shot off while cleaning his guns several weeks earlier and had reattached at a later date by (I’m assuming) Dr. Nick Riviera’s less-qualified cousin, had fallen off during a poker game. Jose even claimed that there was a video of his rotten hand sausage falling on to the poker table, so naturally, purveyors of good taste TMZ asked Jose if they could get a copy. That’s when Jose came clean and said there was no video of his frankenfinger falling off, because it never happened.
TMZ says that Jose admitted that he decided to pull the gross prank after he saw a fake severed finger at a Halloween store and thought it would be funny to pretend it was his and sell it on eBay. Wait, hold up, stop the ride – Jose pulled his finger “prank” on November 15th, two whole weeks after Halloween. Are we to assume it took him more than two weeks to compose a tweet that said “Whoops my busted finger fell off“? Actually, it’s Jose Canseco we’re talking about – I should be more surprised that it only took his brain two weeks. Carry on!
So what did happen to Jose’s frankenfinger? According to TMZ, it’s still there on his hand – even though Jose has been tweeting all week that he only has nine fingers, like in this love poem he wrote:
That’s probably not even part of the prank; that’s just Jose confusing the fake Halloween finger for the real thing. “Oh shit, my finger fell off again! And when did I get these vampire teeth? Looks like Jose is a 9-fingered dracula now.”