I know – “replace” is entirely the wrong word; nobody could ever replace the exquisite insult-hissing showstopper that was Joan Rivers. Maybe “keep her seat warm until she decides to return from beyond the grave as a gorgeous ageless ghost to haunt the tragic fashion disasters of awards season” is a better word. And according to TMZ, that person replacing the seat left vacant by Joan on Fashion Police is going to be sunset-colored comedian Kathy Griffin.
A source connected with the show (the makeup artist in charge of transforming Giuliana Rancic from a grasshopper to a human-looking grasshopper, perhaps) has confirmed to TMZ that it’s a done deal and Kathy will be joining Giuliana, the enchanted come-to-life bag of Dolly Mix Kelly Osbourne, and Melissa Rivers. No word on whether George Kotsiopoulos will also be coming back or if he’s currently crying into a pile of tasteful $79.99 QVC wrap dresses (they’re always wrap dresses and they’re always $79.99). The source also says that Fashion Police will no longer be a weekly show, and instead will air it as a special program to coincide with big events, like the Academy Awards.
I’m sure there are 1,284,365 Joan Rangers screaming “NO! TERRIBLE CHOICE!” at the top of their lungs while clutching their favorite Joan Rivers Classics Collection statement necklace, but I’m glad they chose Kathy. Kathy once tried to blow Anderson Cooper on live TV and isn’t afraid to dress like a near-sighted Daytona Beach truck stop stripper. A messy middle-aged trick who doesn’t give a fuck? Come on, it’s what Joan would have wanted.