Kristen Stewart’s Nipples Tried To Make A Break For It While Presenting Julianne Moore With A Hollywood Film Award

November 15, 2014 / Posted by:

Because the Hollywood Film Awards are apparently the famous people equivalent of a messy office Christmas party (see: Johnny Depp playing the part of the dude who gets fired for guzzling two bottles of JD and dry humping the Xeorox machine), it’s no surprise that a pair of nipples made an appearance. Because really, a party’s not a party until someone’s tits accidentally pop out of their dress, right?

During the presentation of the Hollywood Actress Award to Julianne Moore, the white part of Kristen Stewart’s dress decided to quit this bitch and slowly slide down her chest. Thankfully she was wearing that grey mesh dickie thing, so her mopey nipple bits remained sort of obscured. In true Kristen fashion, she was all “Meh, whatever” about it, and kept going. Apathy waits for no nip slip!

I’m all for a surprise guest appearance by a pair of nipples, but not like this. That janky chain mail shirt looks like it would chafe something awful! When KStew reached up to scratch that dead rodent living on her head and her dress started scraping against her left nipple, you could practically hear it screaming “NO NO NO NO PLEASE STAHP!” My own nipples just cringed thinking about it!

And Us Weekly seems to think the most embarrassing part of KStew’s impromptu titty show was that it happened with her ex in the audience. Ha! Like Robert Pattinson cares about KStew’s booby buttons! He’s too busy trying to decide if he should go full-on Medieval Hipster Monk and shave off the top half of his hair.

Here’s more of Kristen Stewart in that booby trap of a dress, as well as Hollywood Actress Award-Winner Julianne Moore:

Pics: Splash

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